never sweet, never ending
by enochianmoan
Summary: Each word had torn incredibly at Sam's sanity. He was on his bed, laying there silently, frantic. The voice taunting him had come from behind him, seemed to be touching his whole body and ripping his mind apart, he dared not turn. Of course he knew instantly who it was. How could he forget him? How could he not know? Lucifer was basically carved into him. Angsty!Sam/ Slash /Samifer


_Sam..._

_Saaaaam..._

_„__Sam...Sam...Sammy. You don't like it when i call you that, no? Sammy."_

_It's Okay, Sam._

_Sam?_

_Oh,_

_How amusing._

_You're awake._

_I can feel it. _

_Why would you bad boy act asleep?_

_You know what, though?_

_It's okay Sam._

_I'm not mad._

_Oh, Sam._

_It's just little old me._

_...you know I know you better than anyone._

_I know you better than your brother knows you...Sam._

_And you know it. And of course i do. But he doesn't._

_I was once in you. ..._

_That's worth something._

_Of course I know you._

_It was just you and I then-_

_it's destined to be._

Heavy silence lay in the room for a moment.

_We could've had it all, you know?_

_But you were scared._

_Back then I would've never hurt my precious Sammy._

_And i wouldn't hurt you again._

_You know, I liked it in there, inside your body..._

_...but that's beside the point, Sam._

The voice silenced suddenly, but the former words seemed to be floating all around the room, bouncing off the walls, filling it, hanging in the air heavy. Each syllable had torn incredibly at Sam's sanity. He was sprawled out on his bed, laying there silently, frantic. The voice taunting him had come from behind him, seemed to be touching his whole body and ripping his mind apart, he dared not turn.

He had been asleep, snoring even, and suddenly this voice had slowly dragged him out of sleep, mocking him. He knew something was wrong immediately, he felt a sharp pain in his heart, a nauseaus sensation in his stomach. Awaiting the impending realization that would completely wreck his brain.

He couldn't shove it away or think around it.

Of course he knew instantly who it was.

How could he forget him? How could he not know?

Lucifer was basically carved into him.

Into his brain, his soul, anyways.

...

But why, why was Lucifer back? How could it be? Sam hoped so dearly this was all just a dream.

A fever/sickness induced nightmare.

He just couldn't go crazy again. He couldn't do this to Dean. Leave him alone, handle the mess that was the earth right now, with fallen angels walking all over the surface of the earth, while he was a drooling mess hallucinating of the devil!

He was just out of it because of the trails. It had been a month. A month of ups and downs. He had gotten constantly worse, but at some point he started getting better again. Till he got a fever a few days ago. That had Dean hanging around him, worrying pretty much all the time, but luckily he let him sleep in his own room. That guy was one hell of a mother. This must all be part of that fever. He was sure...

No actually he was not sure, but he tried his best to convince himself.  
He shut his eyes tight.  
Tried to relax his breathing and gripped into his pillow harder, sliding the blanket further up his chest.

Just drift off to sleep again...

This isn't real.

He is not real.

Just-

_Listen Sammy, I'm not here to...bug you. Well, I might have already but ...you know that's just who I am._

Why couldn't he shut up?

_Sam, I need you to do something for me._

Don't listen . Just pretend you aren't hearing a thing.

_You know, I can do something for you to, my dear Sam._

Yeah right.

_Back in the cage it wasn't all that bad, was it?_

Yes it was, you would know...you would freaking know!

_Okay, Yes, I was mad at first._

_But I got over that, Sam._

_I'm not...how could I stay mad at you?_

_Just as I was starting to appreciate you being locked up with me you vanished._

_Why did you leave me, Sam?_

_Didn't I tend to your desires?_

_Okay,...actually I might have been a little rough around the edges. But hey..._

_Tough love, huh?_

Sam felt like throwing up at this point.

_Remember how they say you can take a soul out of hell, but you can't take hell out of that soul?_

_(Okay, i might have made that up just now.)_

_Bottom line is..._

_Sam you're already stained._

_We've been there, and..._

_**You can't escape me, ever.**_

There was something so absolute, so sure in Lucifer's words, they weighed on Sam like the devil had dumped a freaking rock on him. That sentence literally sucked the breath out of his lungs.

_Actually what I'm trying to say is ..._

_I didn't just miss wearing your body._

_I missed YOU Sam._

Sam was terrified by the way his heartbeat sped up and his blood boiled.

But the way he said it ... it was like Satan's slick voice was grazing his skin, leaving Goosebumps all over him.

What was wrong with him? Sam felt more fucked up than ever.

He knew better! Lucifer was sweet-talking him...

He's the only one that got even close to enjoying himself down there.  
The cage had been utter, complete, hell.

But Lucifer made it sound like Sam was the bad one here, like Sam had abandoned Lucifer.

He morphed ugly reality into something Sam knew was not true.

From what hazy moments he could remember, but certainly didn't want to, Lucifer raped him merciless in hell. Absolutely merciless. He took him by surprise, pounded into him cruelly, getting seemingly harder by each of his cries to stop.

And he laughed, oh how he laughed as Sam was coming apart. Breaking.

When Lucifer did start transforming it from raping into fucking, in the sense that he got Sam to be aroused to, he made him beg. Got him hard in the sweetest way, just to deny him his release for what seemed like eternity, and tease him, have him begging for it, which destroyed his pride in ways no one else could or had before. After the bliss of orgasm had worn out Sam felt the humiliation seep through his entire being. Lucifer had been oh to good at tearing him apart. To damn good.  
Sam had hated it, had hated how his body responded to his tormentor.  
Hated himself for it.  
And all this wasn't even counting in the meat hooks...

Sam had pushed those memories away into the smallest, most hidden corners of his mind. And now what? Now he could see those images flash bright in red. He hadn't wanted to remember it at all. His body tensed up again.

_"Just go away."_ Sam whispered, his voice coarse, before he could stop himself  
_"I'm hallucinating again."_ He said as if that would make it sound more believable to himself, as if that would make Hallucifer go away.

Sam pushed his face deeper into the pillow. It was in the middle of the night, he was still dizzy from being asleep only a little while ago, he was exhausted and his condition was still shit from the trails. How was he supposed to deal with Lucifer now too? He just couldn't. When was he going to get a break? He was just human. A broken human anyways. Sam was too tired to even be ashamed or feel a sissy for the few tears that escaped his eyes and were soaked up immediately by the pillow. Why should he? He was just so drained and shocked to see his sanity once again slip away from him.

_"Fuck off."_ He muttered under his breath.

_Oh, Sam, don't be like that._

_Well, finally talking though, huh?_

_But, You always misunderstand me._

_I'm here to make it all better, Sam._

Sam's heart jumped, his eyes flew open as he felt that voice right beside his ear. He could've sworn he felt the cool breath on his skin too. Like he could make it all go away by staying still Sam instantly closed his eyes again, his hand gripping the pillow under him tight. He didn't want to look behind him.

Scared of knowing for certain.

There were only two options.

And either way would suck.

I could only be either Hallucifer, meaning he was mental again, or really Lucifer himself.

He was so screwed...

_I missed you, Sam._

He didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to hear a thing. He just wanted him to go away. Missed him?

Missed TORTURING him maybe. The voice still made him feel tingly in places it really shouldn't.

_Somewhere deep down you felt I would come back to you Sam._

_How could I leave you, Sammy-boy?_

The voice was still so near, right in his ears, he felt soft breath prickling on the shell, sending shivers through his body.

Sam froze completely when he felt a tongue glide over the sensitive spot right behind his ear.

The next thing he felt was a rough, cool hand gliding under his clothes, slipping under the waistband of his pyjama pants. Of course he instinctively tried to get away, but was instantly pressed into the mattress, to lay on his stomach, pinned by the weight of a body above him. The other hand that wasn't fiddling around in his pants, slipped under him, gripped his chin, holding his face in place, while Satan sucked on his earlobe, breathing Sam's name softly, while trailing down his neck, leaving cool kisses burning hot on his skin.

_Be a good boy, Sam._

Lucifer cooed, and Sam hated how it sent shivers down his body.

He swallowed hard, terrified.

Sure, he'd hallucinated of Lucifer before. But in those hallucinations he'd never been touched by him. Never. In no way, shape or form. Not even like shoving, a pat on the back or something. Satan had mocked him by creating things that weren't there making noise that only he could hear and stabbing people with things only he could see, creating insects in his food that weren't really there. Or directly making fun of him. But this...There were only two possibilities. Both of which were scaring the shit out of Sam. Either he had lost his mind completely, even more than before, which, he didn't think was possible only a few seconds ago, or...Satan was truly really laying on top of him. Satan was truthfully and really out of the cage, sexually molesting him. He was basically frozen in place.

He didn't know how to react. What to do.

A voice somewhere in his brain said he was supposed to stop this. So he did. Or at least tried to.

Sam limbs got into action, not quite sure how to fight the man laying atop of him off, because that wasn't easy, since he was quite heavy and his body was pinned down completely, and once he got out that one arm he was laying on, Lucifer grasped him by the wrist and shoved it into the mattress. Sam grabbed the hand in his pants with his other one though, stopping the teasing motions and contact with his dick.

_Sam._

Lucifer breathed into his ear.

_"Get off me, right now."_ Sam's voice didn't have the confident in it he intended it to.

_"This can't be real."_ He spat out, unbelievingly.

_"You were in the cave. We still have the rings. The only entrance...It just can't be real-"_

_If it isn't you can easily enjoy me, pleasing you, right, Sammy?_

_"No."_ Sam's voice got stronger.

He couldn't ...this couldn't happen.

_Suddenly gotten all prude, darling? We had sex before._

Sam swallowed again, visions flashing before his eyes.

_"You raped me."_

_"How could I be okay with you touching me, when you raped me?"_ he almost shouted, starting to panic because of the way he wasn't able to move freely.

_Don't always be such a negative Nancy, Sam._

Lucifer cooed again, dropping an almost soft kiss into Sam's hair.

_That's not the whole truth. It wasn't all that bad._

Sam made an incredulous noise

_Oh Okay, if that's the way you want to see it. I'm sure it helps you sleep better at nights. To pretend you never liked it. Pretend you never begged for me._

_Sam felt the embarrassment creep up his face and started struggling more._

_Shut the fuck up. Don't touch me. Real or not. Don't fucking touch me._

_Oh Sammy. You still, shouldn't be that loud, or Dean-o will hear us._

Dean. He was in the other room.

Sam's eyes grew wider in the dark. His body was frozen.  
He didn't want Dean to see him like this, but he didn't want to get pseudo-raped either.  
Sam let out a long breath trying to make sense of this situation.

He tried to take everything in. The heavy weight pinning down his body. The body heat, the cool sensations of their skin touching, that unfamiliar breathing, the heartbeat.

_"You're... real?"_ He almost choked on those words.

_As real as I can get Sam._

_But deep down you already know that._

_Sam, I'm out of the cage._

Sam, swallowed hard, tried shaking off Satan in panic again, trying to roll to his side, only to get his face shoved into the pillow hard, getting no air at all.

_Listen, Sam, I don't wanna make this hard, but be quiet and somewhat obedient or this is going to end ugly._


End file.
